Self-talk is not a topic that’s offered in any of my packages or the courses I teach; yet, somehow it surfaces with so many of my clients.
When I first began Lalaa Writes in 2010, I had no idea that creating content and brand strategies for entrepreneurs would involve so many different facets and tools. Yet rarely a week goes by when I’m not counseling, encouraging or building up my clients, sometimes I think that’s why they pay me, to be their personal hype woman.
But for real, one thing I’ve noticed is that I have two types of clients either the clients who know exactly what they need and just need someone to execute it. Then the second client comes to me absolutely frustrated and overwhelmed. Those are the clients who require a little mental adjustment.
Being an entrepreneur and building your brand is no simple feat but I believe that all battles are first won in your mind, and the way in which you speak to yourself is one of the most important skills to master.
When you talk to yourself it matters and the words you use can have a huge impact on you.
If I had to name the two most valuable skills I’ve learned since starting my business it would be listening (essential) and managing my self-talk.
It’s so powerful having the ability to recognize and shift how you’re talking to yourself and about yourself.
In order to manage that little voice inside you must hear it. You have to be aware of the script you’re playing in your mind. Unless you’re aware of this little monologue it’s next to impossible to change it.
Maybe you’re nervous about launching your new product or idea for instance, and you notice your inner voice telling you “ I can’t do it, this idea isn’t good enough.” Once you identify that voice you can then begin to do something about it.
Write it DOWN!
I can’t stress this one enough, and if you read my blog or follow me on social media you know how I feel about writing things down.
Writing things down is everything.
Writing it down makes it real.
I’m gonna quote my girl Erykah Badu: “Write it down on real paper, with a real pencil. And watch shit get real.” I think she said it best.
Writing down your self-talk is a key part of managing it, especially if you’re dealing with something you’ve said to yourself repeatedly over a long period of time.
Once you see it written down that does something to your consciousness. Take the about statement “I can’t do this, my idea isn’t good enough.” Once you write it down you almost immediately can see that the statement is untrue, giving you the ability to recognize how the statement is affecting you.
Replace the Old With the New
Once you’ve identified and written down that negative self-talk it’s time to craft a new story that can replay in your mind instead. This step in the process. Many people think that merely replacing the negative with positive will do the trick but here’s the thing, if that talk is not believable then you’ll end up abandoning it. Say something that’s both positive and believable
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.
Starting any new habit require repetition. Odds are that you’ll see a small difference the first time you do it. Then as you do it more and more you’ll notice the change. But remember that to substitute negative self-talk for positive self-talk you’ll have to make the conscious choice to do so.
And just like that you’re equipped and prepared to turn down the volume to negative self-talk and silence it for good.